He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
