just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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