Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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