38 yer olds are good kisserssss
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
