Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
