Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I have aggressive nipples.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
