awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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