i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
