Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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