tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
