the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
