I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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