dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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