And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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