This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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