I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cat food counts as protein by the way
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Randomize