i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants