he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
meet me or not, i'm out of control
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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