You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.