hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.