Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?

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(212): View more from New York

Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!

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(386): View more from Florida

Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved

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(647): View more from Ontario

So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.

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19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
Read it at the TFLN blog
(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Where else am I to apply my creativity?

(1-303): View more from Colorado

I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.

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(252): View more from North Carolina

Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.

(248): View more from Michigan

I was...perplexed.

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