Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
