he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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