idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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