I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
