He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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