Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Randomize
