Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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