margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
