I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
