Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
