I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
