i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
