Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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