eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
