FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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