actually, I'm a sock model
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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