Im at strip club and am horny
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
