I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
