May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
two words: eviction party
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
