he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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