im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
