Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I look excited, but its just a facade.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
