Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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