help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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