WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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