my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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