sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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