I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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