The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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