is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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