Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
