I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
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