Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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