Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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