i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
you made out with another girl for some wings
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
