Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
i think i just lost a toe
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
