once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
