my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
