just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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