I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I just want to make out with him forever
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
