Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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