So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
