His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
