two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize