Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
And then my night got REAL pukey
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
