I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
