I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
