Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
