and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
